MOAL Leech fishing Instructions – Freshwater Rivers and Lakes
Step 1. Tie on MOAL leech. Use good knot and leader. Do not allow fishing companion to tie on leech for you. If knot fails, you will have only yourself to blame. Dig?
Step 2. Chuck leech into fish-bearing water.
Step 3. If leech was chucked into a river, consider a mend or two to control the swing rate. If chucked into a lake, proceed directly to step 4.
Step 4. Allow leech to swing across river in front of lurking giant salmon, steelhead, prehistoric mondamous-size trout, or alligator. If leech is in standing water, allow it to achieve submersion to fish-lurking depth, and begin retrieve. Experiment with various retrieve speeds, ranging from slow as grandpa to, like, fast as you can strip it in dude.
Step 5. If swinging across a river, allow MOAL to finish swing and achieve hang-down position. Hang on while MOAL is hanging down. Wait. Wait some more. Give a little twitch. Hang on some more. If no monster fish has the respect to eat the dang thing, retrieve, step downstream, and repeat.
If fishing MOAL in standing waters, complete retrieve to within pick-up distance. Allow MOAL to sink deeper into water on slack line. Hang on. Hang on some more. Jig MOAL a little on short line, unless water clarity reveals absence of all fishcator life forms within a hundred feet. If no MOAL eatage occurs at this point, make another cast to a) another location along the shoreline, b) in a different direction, or c) into a different water body.
MOAL Leech fishing Instructions for Ocean
Step 1. Buy a big-ass ocean fishing boat.
Step 1a. Convince fishing buddy to buy big-ass ocean fishing boat.
Step 2. Tie MOAL leeches to resemble giant rubber-squiddy-creepy lures that ocean fishing guys swear by.
Step 3. Take sea sick pills. Puke.
Step 3a. Buy anti-sea sick pills and consume maximum recommended dose.
Step 4. Awake on morning of ocean voyage. Eat huge greasy breakfast. Set out to sea. Puke guts over the side.
Step 5. Toss OCEAN MOALs overboard.
Step 6. Get several new OCEAN MOALs, tie these to fishing poles, and toss these overboard.
Step 7. Get new boat onto plane, trolling OCEAN MOALs about 20’ behind boat, at rear edge of prop-wash.
Step 8. Hang on. Set hook. Break line. Puke again. Get scared by size of monster ocean fish. Head for shore. Eat clam chowder and fake crabwich for dinner.
Step 9. Resolve to only fish with Captain Nate’s charters from now on.
Step 10. Sell big-ass ocean boat on Craigslist for 5% of what you just paid and be grateful to get enough to pay for more crosscut rabbit strips.
The original version with cone head, top performer with Northwest steelheads and locally the fish and game has considered outlawing them. Buy them while you still can...